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Money down the toilet in Bagenalstown?

Gone are the days when you could spend a penny in Carlow… nowadays it’s a very costly affair to do your business in Bagenalstown.

In fact, it costs the same amount to run the landmark superloo in the medium-sized town as it does to run the town itself for a year.

For two weeks now, town and county councils in Carlow have been at loggerheads over the fate of the loo, described as so clean “you could bring anyone into it”. Some councillors want the superloo scrapped, others see it as a local landmark worth saving.

The debate about the superloo, as reported by Ester Hayden in the Carlow People, took more turns than a S-bend pipe, with an awful lot of bladder emptying over the issue, but you can’t paper over the cracks that it costs €40,000 to run the superloo, and €50,000 to run the entire town.

Cllr. Denis Foley, always a champion of the superloo, said he wasn’t in favour of the removal of the superloo unless there was a replacement facility. He said the 15 year lease on the superloo still had ten years remaining and said it would cost €180,000 to break the lease. Cllr. Foley said the old toilet in the town had been vandalised repeatedly whereas the superloo wasn’t vandalised. He said it was so clean ‘you could bring anyone into it’.

Cllr. Joe Manning said ‘it’s costing €50,000 a year to run the town council and €40,000 a year to run that toilet. It’s crazy. It’ll cost us €600,000 to fulfill the contract and just €180,000 to break it.’

Cllr. Paddy Kiely said he was in Cahir recently and ‘wanted to spend a penny’ and he came across ‘a grand public toilet. There was nothing lavish about it and there was room for two or three lads to go into. It was a massive little toilet.’

He too was against the removal of the superloo. The debate will carry on around the S-bend for some time to come…

Farmers warned about dodgy castrators

The Limerick Leader has a warning for farmers buying castrators on the black market. 12 young bulls had a lucky escape when a faulty castrator did not do its job a Limerick IFA meetingwas told. A very good dairy beef farmer said he had bought the castrator for €130 last autumn. He castrated his weanlings and about a month later noticed it hadn’t worked. He has been castrating cattle for donkeys years, reports the paper, but he was quizzing his sanity. He spoke to two vets who told him the device he bought was defective. If the farmer bought one there must be more out there for sale warns the local IFA.

The bullocks lucky escape didn’t last long as they were later castrated properly. Other farmers have been advised to check the nuts and bolts of their castrators.

Cat killer on the loose in Portlaoise

There’s a killer on the loose in Portlaoise. According to the Laois Nationalist notices with photographs of one of the dead victims, a black cat, have been posted up in various locations around the town warning, “We hope the killer will be found.”

One notice claims that five cats were poisoned in a three-week period, while another says that five were killed in a two-week period in the Grattan Street area of the town.

It also warns pet owners “to be careful. Don’t let your cats outside unattended.”

A local person from the Grattan Street area, who did not wish to be named, said she “wouldn’t be surprised if they were poisoned. Over the years there has been a huge problem with wild cats in this area”.

“The screams of them at night time and the stench that the tom cats leave behind is terrible. They also cause awful problems scavenging through bins.”

A spokesperson for the Laois Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (LSPCA), Eileen Kerry, said that her association had not received any reports about cats being poisoned.

She said that if people come across colonies of feral (wild) cats, which can number up to 30, they should contact her association. She said to steer clear of pet assassins or cat vigilantes. Her association was not ‘rentakill’ but was the only way to deal with feral cats.

Wild boar update – more killed

Listeners to MSTFBS will recall that a wild boar was shot dead after been trapped in a chicken coup by a local farmer in the Brittas area of the mountains. There were fears that there could be more roaming the mountains. Well, those fears have been realised and the Laois Nationalist has been informed by a very reliable source in the hunting fraternity in Laois, that three have been shot recently in Stradbally and Athy, with others spotted in forests around the Ballyfin area.

The paper received a picture of a recently shot boar, with the hunter censored.
He did give the paper a quote. “I can assure you, there’s more of them in the county than a lot of people think,” he said. European wild boar were classed as extinct for over 5,000 years

Kingdom on high alert over Killarney flasher

Kerry’s Eye Newspaper leads with a shocking story of a masked man who exposed himself to a young woman walking on her own in Killarney National Park last Sunday afternoon. The paper fears it is a repeat of streaking incidents reported last July.  

The man, naked but for a balaclava, had concealed himself in a tree but emerged to commit his lewd act as the victim passed by.

The frightening incident has prompted local Gardai to warn people, especially women, not to walk on their own in quiet areas of the Park for their own personal safety.

“That woman was terrified,” a senior Garda said. “It’s gone beyond a joke.” 

Two garda vehicles sped to the scene between Muckross House and Torc Waterfall at 4.15pm on Sunday, in response to an emergency call made by the shocked woman, who is in her 20s. 

“We don’t know if it’s connected to the person in the summer,” a Garda spokeswoman said. “His face was covered and he was partially dressed. We want people to let us know if they see anything suspicious.”

The frightening incident has prompted Gardai and Conservation Rangers to step up patrols in the Muckross area. 

Gardai are appealing to local jarveys and people who walk or cycle the National Park regularly to report any sightings of suspicious individuals, vehicles or cyclists.

Aran Island’s first ever parking ticket!

One Inis Mór driver made history in a way they’d rather forget on Monday last when they became the recipient of the first ever road traffic violation ticket issued on the Aran Islands.

Community Warden Martin Mannion attached the dreaded paperwork to the window of a car at Kilronan Harbour on Monday morning as the new County Council Traffic Plan kicked in on Inis Mór.

The Plan was agreed by Galway County Council in 2011 and it came into effect on January 1. Local Community Wardens have been given the authority to issue on the spot fine tickets to motorists who disobey the law, especially near Kilronan harbour. They can also hit those with no tax discs.

Reporting in the Connaught Tribune, Máirtín Ó Catháin put the number of vehicles on Inis Mór island at about 400. The islands have a special rate of motor tax of €95 per year – up from €88 euro due to budget changes – which applies to all vehicles irrespective of capacity.

A powerful jeep type vehicle that could cost over €1,000 in motor tax on the mainland can be taxed on the island at the special rate of €95. The on-the-spot fine for non-display of a tax disc is €60.

Warrenpoint Welcomes Careful Drivers

Cormac Campbell has a great astory in the Newry Reporter about yet another car that recently went through the ‘Warrenpoint Welcomes Careful Drivers’ wall at Narrow Water.

The wall, located close to Warrenpoint Golf Club, is right beside a sign reading ‘Warrenpoint welcomes careful drivers’. Ironically it has been damaged dozens of times in the past decade by crashing vehicles. It is hit around three times a year by vehicles driving towards the seaside town.

Among the suggestions for the high number of crashes are the shape of a nearby roundabout and the belief that many vehicles fail to slow down sufficiently when approaching the end of the Newry dual carriageway.

Speaking to the Newry Reporter, Golf Club President Peter Fitzsimmons said that the problem often leads to considerable expense for the club.

“The club is out the expense of repairs if we can’t identify who was involved in the crash,” he said.“We are certainly delighted when people want to join us at the golf club but hopefully they will come in the main entrance.”

Statue thieves know no bounds – they’re now stealing miniatures

Huge statue robberies have been going on all over the country for many months now, but in Kerry they do things a little differently. A miniature bronze replica of one of Tralee’s most iconic statues has been stolen from the Ashe Memorial Hal in the town, along with a small amount of cash.

Estimated to be worth approximately €5,000, the stolen piece is a scale model of the statue of Rose of Tralee which currently stands in the Rose Garden in the town park.

According to Tralee gardaí, the valuable bronze scale model was taken from tourist office at the Ashe Memorial Hall in the early hours of Wednesday morning last.

It’s a question that many a person has asked me over the years, and thanks to Edwin McGreal in the Mayo News we finally have the answer. Goats can swim – no kidding

The question of goats swimming was something a lot of onlookers were pondering at the N5 at Chancery near Ballyvary last Thursday.

Writes Edwin: “Two goats – one billy, one nanny – were stranded in an adjoining field by rising flood waters that threatened to drown them.

The dramatic scene in Ballyvary last week as goats prove they can swim

The goats, believed to be wild, were spotted marooned in the flooded field on Monday. They were on dry land but surrounded by water, as the nearby river had burst its banks. As the weather got wetter, so did the goats, and by Thursday afternoon, the water had crept up as high as their backs and they were over 100 metres from dry land.
Passer-by Olivia Mannion rang the Gardaí, who in turn contacted Mayo County Council’s Veterinary Department, which referred the case to Civil Defence. There, Rose Doherty and Tom Walsh answered the unusual call.

However, they could not launch their boat at the field in question, so Inland Waterways came to the rescue with a boat more fit for the purpose of rescuing two goats.

Perhaps reacting to so much supervision and intervention from a nanny state, the two goats gruffly refused to get into the boat when it landed beside them.

They swam further into the depths of the flood, but the vigilant boat crew managed to turn them in the direction of dry land. With no little agility, the pair swam through the flood and eventually to safety.

The question now is ‘Could the goats not have swum to safety earlier and avoided the furore?’. Perhaps, but maybe they wanted to milk their moment in the public limelight.”

Carlow Community Games ban lifted – sort of

Great seasonal cheer for Carlow youngsters in the Carlow Nationalist this week. The children of Bagenalstown can get back to training for next year’s community games after a one-year ban on all sports was lifted last week.

A five year ban on all soccer teams has also been reduced to four years. The two bans were put in place by the national committee after angry scenes following the under-12 soccer final in Athlone last August.

Several parents and supporters were blamed for the outbursts, which resulted in heartbreak for children around the area. Members of the under-12 soccer team, as well as all other soccer teams in the Bagenalstown community games area, were banned for a staggering five years as a result of the behaviour.

A blanket ban on all sports and activities in the area was met with complete shock and outrage at the time.

Arts, crafts and all other sports were unfairly banned, according to parents, but a decision by officials to reduce the soccer ban to four years and rescind the blanket one-year ban completely was welcomed across the town last week.

The announcement was made to committee members last Tuesday and the local committee is already making progress with this year’s campaign writes Claire Minnock in the Carlow Nationalist.

The Bagenalstown area AGM will now be held next Tuesday, 13 December, in The Estoria at 8.30pm.

All are welcome to attend. “It’s great now they can get back on track,” said a member of Carlow community games.

Comeragh Fairies are still angry!

John O’Connor tells us the fairies are angry again

People who were distressed and worried when persons unknown vandalised the famous Fairy Tree on the Comeragh Mountain Drive earlier this year are extremely concerned that the replacement tree has now also been damaged.

And they claim that their warnings of revenge by the ancient Sidhe (Fairies) have already come to pass as large areas of heather, ferns and grassland in the vicinity of the damaged Fairy Tree have become barren and all growth appears to have withered and died.

Judge holds all the aces in three-card trick case

A three-card trickster found that a district court judge had all the aces up his sleeve when he appeared before him at Killarney District Court last week.

The father-of-two with an address at Garryowen, Limerick, found that his luck had run out when he appeared before Judge James O’Connor charged with a breach of the Gaming and Lotteries Act.

During a horse fair in Rathmore in September of last year the attention of the gardaí was drawn to a crowd of around 30 people gathered around the man, who was flicking cards around the top of a cardboard box at West End and offering people the chance to double their money. Inspector Fearghal Patwell said the man, when apprehended, had €80 in his hand and had twice previously been given the benefit of the Probation Act for similar offences, in Kildare in 2006 and in Ballinasloe in 1999.

Pádraig O’Connell told the judge that the man, a grandfather with hearing difficulties, was the real loser. He said he was performing “some form of entertainment” and “didn’t win, but lose”.

“People go to him thinking they are more cunning, and more wily than him. I’m sure that your good self is aware of the Latin saying, ‘caveat emptor’. He is the real loser in all of this. He was caught, arrested and lost his €80,” the solicitor said.

Judge O’Connor refuted Mr O’Connell’s claim that the man was the loser and said if he did lose all the time, he was “a very foolish man”.

“It may be a game of chance for the punter, but it is a game of skill for him. He allows the punter to win every so often,” the judge remarked.

Judge O’Connor convicted him, adding a €100 fine and a warning that if he was ever caught committing a similar offence in Kerry again, he would jail him.

The holy well that’ll never run dry

Paddy Walsh has a great piece in the Donegal Democrat this week about dry holy water fonts, and how a local man has invented a holy water font that will never run dry!

It was while visiting houses in the locality and finding the traditional holy water fonts dry in many cases that Connie Gallagher came up with an initiative that has already resulted in interest and sales in this county and beyond.

After undertaking some research on the subject, the Derrybeg man started work on a dispenser fitted with a unique metal tip that’s attached to a container which doesn’t require refilling for months.

“I would be going into a lot of houses and when you’re leaving you get into the habit of blessing yourself but half of the holy water fonts would be empty. And people would be saying ‘I filled that yesterday or the day before and it’s already gone dry’.

“That’s when I began thinking there must be some way of overcoming this problem.”

And at the end of June, the Sleeghan based father of two commenced development of the holy water dispenser that won’t run dry anytime soon. Not a dry font in the house, it might be said.

“It’s simple but not that simple to get it right. The brains of it are in the dispenser cap,” Connie points out.

The dispenser — its patent pending at present — comes complete with a support structure that can be hung on any wall and includes a special design. “There’s a choice of fifteen different designs including saints such as St. Bernadette and St. Anthony, the Sacred Heart and Our Lady.” There’s also a choice of three different colours — mahogany, pine and white/cream.

Only the very tip of the actual dispenser is visible when it is attached to a wall surface. “It lasts for months before it has to be refilled,” he insists.

Connie has carefully hand crafted each one of the dispensers he has already produced — and demand has already exceeded expectation. He has brought his initiative to the far reaches of the county and it’s also on sale in Derry. “Eventually I hope to hit the whole country with it.”

The Derrybeg man was previously involved in the manufacturing of patio slabs but the economic downturn largely put paid to that in recent years.

But his unique dispenser is set to pave the way for a future of holy water fonts that will never run dry.

Postmen pushing their luck at Christmas

Rural postmen of the country should take note of some Christmas memories recalled in the Dungarvan Leader this week!

Among many tales by Mike Hackett is a great yarn about a postman in the area back in the 1930’s who used to be the most popular man at Christmas because many of the locals who could not read or write depended on him to read out Christmas cards or letters from exiled sons and daughters in England and America. Well, he used to invent the last line of every Christmas letter as “don’t forget to stand to the poor postman for Christmas”, i.e. give him a few bob.

In the 1950’s the same man got two helpers to help him deliver parcels to homes in the suburbs and countryside. He would stay in the van whilst the others ran up and down the drives delivering the goods. One woman was so excited with a parcel that she stood the postman’s apprentice a fiver – a huge stand at the time. But he decided to push his luck a bit further:

“Thank you maam, but there are three of us and what is five divided by three?” He was being the cute fool – fishing for another pound.

“Oh I’m sorry,” said the woman. “One moment please…” She soon appeared with three single pound notes! “Now my dear man, happy Christmas to the three of you” said she taking back the fiver.

Massive vote to keep Achill-Henge

Having been the first paper to break the story of Achill-henge, the Mayo News is surrently doing the best it can to ensure the controversial Stonehenge-esque structure built on Achill Island is not be taken down. This week the paper calls it a piece of public art that could be a tourism live-saver for Achill Island, and indeed the whole of Mayo.

The paper is currently conducting an online poll at www.mayonews.ie and as we went to air this Tuesday morning there is a massive Yes vote in favour of keeping the structure. Like everything in Ireland though, it has to be debated in a County Council chamber before it becomes real news, and local Cllr Michael McLaughlin has been singing the praises of the structure.

Michael McLaughlin, a member of Westport Town Council, believes Achill-henge is a work of genius. “It would be a terrible decision to take it down,” he told The Mayo News. “It is not visible from the road and isn’t really in anyone’s way. People will travel from all over to see it and I think it could be one of the major tourist attractions in the west of Ireland.

“If left it will still be standing strong in 5,000 years and will continue to pose questions and generate debate, that’s what good art does. It is public art in my opinion. There’s sometimes a fine line between genius and madness, but I certainly think this is genius.

I was down in Achill a lot (recently), and a lot of the locals are saying that you can’t buy the type of publicity that this project has generated. It will put money in everyone’s pockets on the island,” added Cllr McLaughlin.

Mayo County Councillor Michael Kilcoyne welcomed that move but issued a caveat: “I’m glad to see that the council have woken up to unauthorised developments and I look forward to them applying similar enforcement procedures against other unauthorised sites in the county, but I fear they won’t. I have been critical about the lack of enforcement, which has been selective, depending on who you are.”

The structure is the brainchild of developer and Achill native Joe McNamara, known as The Anglo Avenger after a series of protests against Anglo Irish Bank. He led construction on the unique development over the last weekend of November, with work commencing on a Friday morning and concluding in darkness on Sunday evening. It was built without any planning permission. McNamara landed in jail because of it.

The Whistling Donkey of Dingle leaves court in tears of laughter

Marisa Reidy writes a hilarious tale of a busker, bald tyres and a whistling donkey which left the presiding judge, gardaí, solicitors and even defendants in tears of laughter in Dingle District Court on Friday as they heard of the unlikely series of events that led to three road traffic charges being brought against a man.

Well known Dingle street entertainer Deaglan Ó Muiris became the unintentional source of comic relief at the sitting when Garda Frank Scanlon outlined the scene that greeted him when he stopped the busker for driving with four bald tyres.

Garda Scanlon told the court that having noticed the worn tyres on Mr Ó Muiris’s Hiace van, his attention was immediately drawn to the inside of the vehicle, where he saw a donkey looking back at him.

A similar sight to the one which greeted the Dingle Garda at the centre of the whistling donkey saga

He proceeded to tell Judge James O’Connor how the said donkey is part of Mr Ó Muiris’s renowned busking act, and is regularly seen with the defendant in Dingle.

When asked by the chuckling judge what the donkey did as part of the act, Garda Scanlon told him he played the tin whistle, causing an outburst of laughter in the courtroom.

Solicitor Pat Mann told the highly entertained judge that his client and his donkey are a regular double act at Dingle pier and that Mr Ó Muiris is ‘a very good natured man.’ He said that after being stopped by Garda Scanlon, he paid €350 for four new tyres for the van.

Withdrawing one of the charges, Garda Scanlon said he was very familiar with Mr Ó Muiris and had come across him on numerous occasions, adding that he had one previous driving conviction dating back a few years. Mr Mann quickly interjected, telling the court that that offence was for driving his Hiace van, and not his donkey.

Garda Scanlon agreed that the tyres had been replaced, and concluded his evidence by telling the judge that the donkey has been retired for the winter.

The defendant was given until May of next year to pay €300 to the court poor box to avoid a conviction for the bald tyre offences.

Healy-Rae’s road heartbreak – potholes filled with his tears

Brendan McCarthy writes movingly in the Kerryman this week about the Kerry County Councillor who has revealed the extent of his “broken heart” when he sees the damage being caused to the county’s roads.

“Cllr Danny Healy Rae was speaking at the November meeting of Kerry County Council where he said all of the good work undertaken by the council to upgrade the county’s road network over the past decade was being undone. He said problems with the roads needed to be tackled before further damage was done by bad weather.

“Heartbroken” or “Heartbreaker”? Ladies, you decide.…

“I have to say that it is breaking my heart to see the damage being done to the roads after all the good work carried out by Kerry County Council over the last 10 to 12 years,” Cllr Healy Rae said. “Before that they were in an awful state. Why are we going to allow all of this to be washed away?”

Cllr Healy Rae said blocked drains were causing roads to be washed away and new potholes were leaving repaired roads in a “patchwork” state. He called for prompt action to deal with the problem.

“This should be tackled before damage is done, the roads are not being properly drained. On particularly wet days there should be a dedicated teams put on roads to assess where there is trouble. Water is flowing on the roads and not going into drains,” he said. “We will finish up with nothing come spring. Something must be done to save what we have put in place.”

Cllr Healy Rae also called for the council to form a policy to deal with overgrowing trees and hedges as damage was being caused to car door mirrors.

“As council management and councillors we are judged by the way our roads are, I am asking for something to be done to protect what we have. We would be a long time waiting to put it back in place again,” he said.

Drinkers “stood their ground” at closing time

A CROWD of drinkers who simply refused to leave a bar on time in Castleisland in August landed the publican in court in the town on Thursday; where she was directed to pay €500 to the poor box to escape conviction.

Helen Leene, Kingdom Bar, Main Street, Castleisland, pleaded guilty to a charge of permitting the consumption of alcohol after hours.

Gardaí said they inspected her premises at 12.40am on August 12 last to find 25 people still drinking there — all alcohol should have been consumed by 11.40pm on the night.

Solicitor Patrick O’Connell said there were a lot of people on holidays in the town at the time and that Ms Leene had tried to clear the crowd prior to the arrival of the gardaí. “But they just stood their ground,” he said of the drinkers.

He said his client was a long-standing publican who had never been in trouble before. Judge O’Connor directed she would escape conviction if she makes the €500 contribution by the January court in Castleisland.

Who judges the judges? Judge to appear before himself

Donal Nolan has a crime scoop in the Kerryman which will answer an oft-asked question. Who judges the judges. Well, in a funny way themselves as a Kerry District Court Judge is to appear before his own court. Judge James O’Connor will appear as a defendant at a January court sitting over which he usually presides after he was served with a summons relating to a minor motoring offence.

Judge O’Connor is charged with failing to display a valid NCT disc on a motor vehicle in Caherciveen on July 21 last. The matter was referred to the DPP who directed that a charge on the matter be brought.

The Kerryman understands that the Judge was served with a summons to appear before Cahersiveen District Court on January 19 next — a court sitting over which the Judge usually presides. If sitting himself, it is likely that Judge O’connor will adjourn his own case when it appears on the day’s list to a special sitting of the district court later in the year. Another district court judge will then hear the case and rule on it.

Republican “imposters” taking the fun out of funerals

Under the headline “Graveside Mockery” the Kerryman reports that hardline republicans in North Kerry are becoming increasingly annoyed by a group of people from the Tralee area who, they say, are falsely posing as members of Republican Sinn Féin and making a mockery of commemorative ceremonies.

Republican Sinn Féin said the impostors recently attended the commemoration of War of Independence hero Eddie Carmody in Ballylongford where they laid a wreath only to remove it before they left.

RSF National Treasurer and Listowel native John Sheehy said the ‘impostors’ made a ‘mockery’ of the commemoration.

To hell with the Euro – Mullingar gets its own currency

To hell with all the problems associated with the Euro. The town of Mullingar is to get its own currency – the Gar.

10G’s in all their Joycean glory — modelled on the old 10 punt note

Devised by Bartle D’Arcy, who managed Belvedere House, Gardens and Park, and introduced by the Chamber of Commerce in the town, the denomination will be a 10G note for the moment, its design modelled on the much-missed ten punt note. It also features James Joyce, a youthful version. The reason? Mullingar is the only other place in Ireland outside of Dublin that Joyce lived in.

10G’s gets you an automatic 10% reduction at any participating store in the Mullingar area. They are available from ‘The Central Bank of Mullingar’ located in a former bank premises.

The story is reported in this week’s edition of the Westmeath Examiner. One of their finest writers, Una D’Arcy, departs the newspaper this week and she is wished all the very best for the future by the Breakfast with Hector team on RTE2fm!

Lorry driver watching film on his laptop when driving

A lorry driver who was caught watching a film on a laptop while he was driving through the town of Baileboro in Cavan escaped being put off the road at Virginia District Court this week.

Krzysztop Lubeki of River Crescent, Mullagh in Kells was instead fined €1,000 on a lesser charge at the court.

Sgt Tom Murray told the court he was on duty in Bailieboro at 3.20pm on August 25^th when he noticed a lorry passing through and the driver didn;t appear to be concentrating on his driving. He appeared to be looking at a laptop on the dashboard.

Sgt Murray followed the lorry out of town, observing it swerve from one side of the lane to another. He eventually stopped it and when going to speak to the driver noticed he closed the laptop over. When the Garda opened the laptop he discovered that the driver had been watching a film.

Defending solicitor Martin Cosgrave said his client had been watching the film when he made a delivery to Lakeland Dairies and didn’t close it. The defendant now accepted what he did was “totally outrageous”. He was willing to pay a large fine because if he lost his licence he would find it difficult to support his four children. Judge Sean McBride recued the charge to careless driving after hearing the defendant was “a model father and husband” and fined him €1,000.

Judge told ‘dog is teetotal’

From the Meath Chronicle this week

A 58 year old Kells man who stole food from a chipper then returned later brandishing a gardening knife at staff has been sent to receive alcohol treatment reports the Meath Chronicle. At Kells District Court the actions of the man were blamed on him being angry about his dog being threatened and assaulted. Judge Patrick Clyne asked how a dog could be assaulted and was told by a solicitor that it had been kicked, which upset his client who then went drinking. The judge then asked the defendant: “Does the dog drink.?” To which he replied: “The dog is teetotal.”

**A very special thanks to the great Meath man Derek Finnegan this week for his help with some cracking stories**

Thieves targeting towns with courts

The Meath News & Sport has an astonishing story this week from reporter Evan Short:

“Fears have been raised that Meath towns that have courthouses are suffering crime sprees on the day they take hearings.”

A Trim Town Councillor said he was told by businesspeople that when the court in town sits, they notice an influx of strange people and an increase in petty thefts.

Cllr Vincent McHugh tells the paper that things have escalated so badly in recent weeks that cars are now being stolen

“The people who are up in court bring others with them and I am led to believe that these are the people causing the problems. I have heard they are trying to steal cars to get home after the court cases” he said.

The Gardai said increased crime was a concern, but other factors were at play. Supt Mary Gormley said the Cllr had no statistics to back up his claims. He said it was “too much of a coincidence” not to be true. He said most Gardai are inside the courthouse with criminals running free outside.

“Even if they go for a walk around the town in-between cases it would be better because the best deterrent is Gardai on the streets. We would all like more Gardai but until that happens something else has to be looked at to deal with this issue”.

They shoot refs in Cavan

Being a GAA referee is a tough job these days what with pitch invasions, chants from the terraces and criticism from coaches and selectors in the local press, but being a referee in Cavan is particularly fierce because if they don’t like your decisions they shoot you.

According to a frightening story by Kevin Carney in the Anglo Celt newspaper, Cavan GAA County Board are to enlist the help of local Gardaí in their investigations as to how a match official was struck in the foot by a discharge from a firearm last Sunday.

The alleged incident took place at the 3G pitch at the rear of Kingspan/Breffni Park during the 2011 MHC final between Ballymachugh and Mullahoran.

Ref James Clarke (Killinkere) was in the middle but it was his cousin Barry, one of his umpires, who became the unlikely centre of attention when he heard shots ring out from behind the scoreboard end of the pitch.

“I was standing at one post and my cousin Pat was at the other post when we heard a shot ring out in the second half,” he tells the paper. “We could see a man about 100 yards away from us with a gun and a little brown and white dog. He looked like he was shooting for pheasants.

“Then, about ten minutes after the first shot, there was another bang and the small gate behind us rattled. I could feel something wheezing past the bottom of my trousers and the next thing was I found this impact on my foot. I could see pellets like big grains of sand just a few feet away from me… luckily I was wearing big, strong boots.”

The shocked 26 year old was unhurt and continued to observe the play.

Cavan GAA Secretary Liam McCabe was at the match confirmed he heard a loud firecracker-like noise, and the matter will be discussed at a County Board meeting. Gardai have been alerted. The news report finishes with an update on the match:

“In an otherwise uneventful afternoon, two late goals helped Ballymachugh triumph by 3–8 to 3–6 in what was a thrilling final played in an excellent sporting manner.”

Def Leppard serenade Louis on his birthday

The Argus in Dundalk has a great yarn about a unique birthday sing-along. Reporter Margaret Roddy writes: “Louis Mullen was sitting in bed, enjoying a quiet cup of tea and reading the paper, on the morning of his 83rd birthday recently, when the phone rang.

It was his son Aidan calling from Melbourne to wish him a happy birthday. After chatting for a while, Aidan said: ‘Hold on Dad, someone here wants to wish you ‘Happy Birthday’. Louis then heard a group of people singing and realised that he was being serenaded by Def Leppard!

Aidan is a guitar technician with the world famous rock group, who were touring Australia at the time.

‘I think this must be a record of some sort,’ said a delighted Louis. ‘Not every 83 year old has all the multimillionaire members of Def Leppard singing for them from ten thousand miles away.’

His son has been working for Def Leppard for over two years, having previously worked for Metallica.

‘He’s a great guitar technician and is very much demand in the business. He has travelled all over the world and they are just back from Japan and hopefully he will get back home to Nashville in time for his wife’s birthday next week.’

Louis and his wife Bonnie, who live in Riverstown, have met with the musicians from Def Leppard on a number of occasions. ‘They are really great guys.’

Raiders taken out at Chinese take-away

A Chinese take-away in Donabate has its staff to thank for delivering two would-be thieves to the local gardaí last week. Acording to the Fingal Independent newspaper, at 10.30pm on Sunday night, The Donabate Chinese Takeaway in Main Street was visited by the raiders, who jumped the counter demanding cash. But they had not counted on the staff of the takeaway hitting back. A scuffle broke out between the raiders and staff members which eventually spilled out on to the street. The alarm was raised and Gardaí from Swords sped toward the scene. When they arrived the scuffle was continuing outside with the raisers taken out in front of the takeaway, ready for arrest.

The two men were aged 21 and 23 and a file being prepared on the incident for the Director of Public Prosecutions.

Limerick’s floating Christmas tree will not return

Tragic news from Limerick. The city’s iconic floating Christmas tree will not return to the river this year.

The 100 feet tree, made entirely of recycled metals — some from the old stand in Thomond Park — has been a fixture at Christmas, but has had its problems, including toppling over earlier this year. We reported this saga on MSTFBS earlier in the year. After it sank it stayed in the water for months.

“Even though the tree had to be rescued this year, it is largely intact,” explained a Council spokesman. “We don’t have it sorted this year but we still have it and the intention is to try and re-use it because it was so fantastic.”

Artists says debt turned him into a gigolo

At the height of the Celtic Tiger, the Killybegs artist Kevin Sharkey created a lifesize cow as his contribution to the Cow Parade, an art auction organised by U2 to raise money for charity.

He was in good company – other creators of the 150 cows in the parade included Bobby Ballagh, John Rocha and Graham Knuttel.

It had been a long climb to the top for the mixed-race, adopted kid born in Dublin and reared in Killybegs, Co. Donegal, but he had surely got there.

However the Donegal Democrat reported his fall from grace, which they say was “even more spectacular and a great deal faster.”

By 2010, Sharkey was so broke, he says he was forced to work as a gigolo, selling sex to males and females for a year. Now 50, the controversial artist, songwriter and former TV presenter says he turned to the sex industry in a desperate bid to survive.

Sharkey spoke candidly, “I was absolutely skint and had three dogs, two chickens and a rabbit to feed.

“I don’t have the formal education to fall back on by way of work. Being an artist has been my work for years but with the crisis, everything changed and I guess, in the end, work was work.”

With courageous honesty, he accepts that he could have waited tables or served bar in the tourist paradise of Ibiza where he lived. But he says: “In truth, there are other types of work I could have done. But I wanted to work my own hours and be my own boss and €250 an hour beats the minimum wage.

“It’s all in the past now but I want to explain that people from all walks of life can find themselves in this position.

“I am just happy to have come out the other side safe and sound and with a clean bill of health, thank God.”

Council: We’re not ‘out to get’ chip shop owner

According to the Corkman newspaper, Macroom Town Councillors say that they do not have a ‘vendetta’ against a local fast food proprietor who has been brought to court for failing to adhere to planning laws.

Speaking at a meeting of the local authority, Cllr Con Foley (Lab) said many people in the town are under the impression that councillors were ‘out to get’ the owner of Tony and Tino’s restaurant.

“It is not the councillors who are doing anything. The council is doing this because he is not complying with planning laws. I have no vendetta against the man, he is a nice man. There is no ‘gang’ of councillors out to get anyone,” Cllr Foley said.

Cllr Owen Mccarthy (FF) said that he was disappointed that members of the public had expressed such a sentiment, while Cllr Breda Cullinane-mccarthy said that it was the impression the owner got from coverage of recent council meetings.

The paper reveals that the fast food restaurant’s seating arrangements were in violation of its planning permission, and the matter was up for mention at Macroom District Court earlier this month.

’85 Ford Capri not vintage says judge

A Rathnew man who drove what he described as a vintage car without insurance has received a three month suspended sentence.

The man was stopped cruising down Main Street, Carnew last October and his solicitor David Tarrant told the court his client was trying to salvage some antique vehicles from a property left to him by a relative when he was stopped on the road by the gardai.

Judge Murrough Connellan asked what model of car was used and was informed that it was a 1985 Ford Capri.

‘I have to tell you that it’s not even vintage,’ he told the defendant before handing him a sentence.

What class of vehicle is this?

Cormac Campbell, a journalist with the Newry Reporter sent us an extremely unusual photo this week, and we want listeners to identify the type of vehicle that is throwing caution and agricultural convention to the wind by carrying a cow across its back seat. Cormac was out driving on the Dublin-Belfast road (near Dromore) last week when he saw a cow standing in the boot of a jeep. He couldn’t believe it and neither could we, so if anyone can shed more light on the subhect we’d be grateful.

It was ironic given the week that was in it that Cormac’s paper featured a story about the “unbullievable” birth of quadruple calves which has “moved” the community at Jerrettspass. Quads is practically “unherd” of these days, and they were born to proud mother ‘Revelation Ruby Two.’ The father was a bull kown as ‘Mr Frosty’ and the happy farmer was Eugene McNally.

Bum note for Wayne as £20 isn’t what it used to be

According to Suzanne Pender in the Carlow Nationalist, a local councillor was left stranded in a taxi in Birmingham, afraid he wouldn’t be able to pay the fare, when it emerged that the sterling he’d received from his local bank wasn’t actually legal tender.

Cllr Wayne Fennell exchanged euros for £300 sterling from Bank of Ireland, Carlow prior to his recent trip to England, but while in Birmingham he discovered that £160 of it wasn’t legal tender.

The Carlow councillor was getting a taxi into the city from the airport but, when he went to pay, the taxi driver refused to take the old £20 notes.

“He told me they weren’t legal tender … I couldn’t believe it. I was badly caught out because I thought I couldn’t pay the taxi” said cllr Fennell.

However, the taxi driver went through cllr Fennell’s £300 cash and discovered just £140 of his cash were the correct £20 notes.

The old £20 notes, featuring the face of Thomas Elgar, stopped being legal tender in June 2010. “They are a completely different design now,” explained cllr Fennell.

On his return to Carlow, Bank of Ireland replaced the £160 for cllr Fennell. “They admitted they had made a mistake and they did put their hands up … it seemed to have been a genuine mistake that this money got back into the system,” said cllr Fennell.

“The bank official I spoke to was actually flabbergasted that I got money that was out of date,” he added.

For this week’s birthday outing we only had to open a Kerry newspaper to find a classic court case, which outlined the meaning of a balanced diet in Kerry. We also had the continental housing design in Kinnegad which is causing homes to be filled with joy, er, hang on… smoke. And there was a few more too. Here are the stories that made it to air, I’ll post the others from the long-list later… KHL!

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What they’re eating down in Kerry…

Dutch Gold — Kerry Champagne

Have you ever wondered what they are all eating down in Kerry? Well look no further as this week’s Kerry’s Eye newspaper has a Court case that may spark off a national epidemic.

‘A man attempted to take a trolly load of goods from a supermarket in Listowel, Co. Kerry without paying. Richard Elston, Lisselton, took 18 cans of Dutch Gold lager, meat and pizzas. Solicitor Pat Enright said: “It was a case of trying to achieve a balanced diet.”

Greek house design is no use for Kinnegad winter

Kinnegad residents in a fancy new housing estate are facing a cold and smoky Christmas according to the Westmeath Examiner.

Why? Well, the design of the Bun Daire estate is just a little too continental for an Irish winter.

According to journalist Eilis Ryan, chimneys in the council-developed estate are not open at the top and are designed so that smoke supposed to flow beautifully and elegantly out of four vents just under the top.

However, the smoke is flowing back down the chimneys and into the houses causing great upset for the residents. According Councillor Mick Dollard, the chimneys are similar to ones he had seen in use in Corfu, and are not suitable for use in this country.

But whilst the Council designed the chimneys, the joke may be on the taxpayer as it will cost almost €80,000 to fix the 22 dodgy chimneys in the estate.

Meath Men thought Garda’s car was a taxi

Two Meath men who had a few drinks too many and then got into a car thinking it was a taxi got a surprise when they found it was an unimpressed, off-duty Garda they were giving directions to. The Meath Chronicle reports that 27 year-old Declan Flynn, Martinstown, Athboy and Raymond Smith (29) of Grennanstown, Athboy thought they were boarding a cab, but it turned out to be the private car of Garda Patrick Lynott.

Instead of going home, their destination was Kells District Court which heard they sat in the back and started “giving directions to the Garda to bring them home.”

Judge Patrick McMahon asked “Is there something in the water around Meath” before telling both men a charity donation or a fine awaited them.

Libraries not so genteel — bookmarks have included viagra, a condom and a nail file

The Connaught Telegraph has a superb story this week about unusual bookmarks found in library books. So, if you imagined libraries as a bit like a monastery or a nunnery with staff constantly whispering prepare to have your impressions amended with a ‘tell-all’ story about Castlebar Library!

Over the years,  some readers have slept, ate and even sang in the toilets at Leabharlann Ui Mhaille, one borrower was caught photocopying photos of the male anatomy whilst another returned a book from which he had forogtten to retrieve a half used packet of Viagra tablets.

A Mayo Bookmark

Other strange bookmarks used in books returned by borrowers included a twenty euro note, a condom, a  nail file, even a piece of glass and some dentures

In order to renew his library membership, a student peeled off one of his socks and spilled the required number of coins from it onto the desk. There are tales of romances beginning between the bookshelves.

Best yarn of all for me was the tale of a lady who produced to her librarian the remains of a book which her dog had eaten announcing she’d have to pay for it.

The title of the book? “Training your Dog”.

The anecdotes are related by senior librarian Mary Gavin in her new book: “Mayo Libraries — Memories, Tales and Anecdotes’. Mary has worked there for over 27 years.

Tuam gets early Christmas present

A deal has been struck that will allow all works on the N17 around Tuam to come to a halt for all of December! Yes, The Saw Doctors won’t be the only ones heading ‘downtown’ this Christmas. Their fellow citizens of Tuam will soon be able to go downtown as it is going to be a roadworks free Christmas in the true capital of the wesht. Tuam’s traders are celebrating the news and hope it will enable them to claw back the thousands of euro lost over recent weekends as a result of the serious traffic congestion along the town’s main thoroughfare.

The Big Dig works on the N17, which have been operating on a 24-hour basis every weekend for a number of weeks, have had a huge, negative impact on town-centre trade reports the Tuam Herald.

“It was just dead. No one was walking around the streets and everyone was complaining of the huge traffic tailbacks in and out of town. We were at breaking point,” commented one town centre shop owner.

Secretary of Tuam Chamber of Commerce Brendan Holian said traders simply couldn’t take any more.

“Traders were very worried about was going to happen in the weeks ahead of Christmas. The works on the N17 have hit the town very hard and something had to be done if businesses were going to get any boost for Christmas,” he told The Tuam Herald.

The agreement only refers to Big Dig works on the N17 and it’s understood that other works around the town will continue, however these are not expected to cause as much disruption.

Alien washed up on Kerry beach

Coming soon to an Irish beach near you!

PHRONIMAS, deep-sea creatures that inspired the Alien movies because of their practice of burrowing into their victims, were discovered on Ventry Beach last week.

These tiny, see-through, parasitic creatures are normally found in deep oceanic waters and their discovery by a local marine biologist Kevin Flannery has baffled experts.

The discovery is believed to be the first time creatures of this kind have been found in Ireland.

They served as the inspiration for the beasts immortalised in the works of artist HR Giger and seen on the big screen in Ridley Scott’s Alien and James Cameron’s, ‘Aliens’ movie.

Indeed this real life mini-monster and the Alien Queen do share some similarities according to Katie O’Dwyer from Dingle Oceanworld.

“Some of our information also indicates that it is actually the female Phronimas that burrow out these barrels as it provides protection for the eggs they lay,” she said.

“Phronimas normally live in deep, deep waters; the fact that they have washed up on the beach like this in West Kerry is very strange indeed — you could say they are ‘alien’ to these waters,” she added.

Dog-do hits the fan AGAIN in Mountmellick

According to Joe Barrett in the Laois Nationalist, dog walkers in Mountmellick are scurrying about under the cover of darkness and their charges are still depositing their droppings all over the footpaths around the town. And once again, the same crap hit the fan in the town council chamber last Thursday night when town councillors heard all about the dogs doing their business.

Cllr Denis O’Mara, who has been over the past number of years raising a stink about dog do-do on the footpaths, again voiced his concern about the dog-doings around the town.

On the agenda under, any other ‘business’, he asked: “I’d like a report on how many fines were issued last year for dog fouling. This issue has been raised umpteen times at these meetings. The footpaths across the town are in a disgraceful condition. The dark evenings are in and everyone is now out there with their dogs”.

As regular listeners to Breakfast With Hector may recall, the last time we covered this issue we ended up on the front page of the Laois Nationalist, with the headline ‘Hector in Deep Doo Doo over Mountmellick Slur’. Seems you just can’t keep a good story down…

Vandals target statues – with knitting needles

WB Yeats gets his ‘cloths of Heaven’. Pic c/o the Sligo Champion

In his poem “Cloths of Heaven,” William B. Yeats yearned for “heavens’ embroidered cloths.” Now his iconic bronze statue standing sentry outside the Ulster Bank in Sligo, has been clothed thanks to local knitters. Hard to believe it’s sometimes called graffiti, though of course it’s not your usual spray-can job. Rather, it’s a new kind of ‘urban graffiti’, reputed to have begun in Houston in 2005. Also known as yarn bomb knitting, it’s a street art that uses displays of knitted or crocheted cloth.

The statue of Yeats has been k(n)itted out in rather fetching shorts and cap. And it’s not the only place where this unusual sight may be seen, with a tree at the top of O’Connell Street, across from the Post Office, also bedecked with an array of knitted items. A knitted cob web has also popped up to snare, er, old ladies. And cats.

Harry Keany writes in the Sligo Champion that the Sligo woollen graffiti appearance coincides with and “urban knitting” project for Craftfest Northwest running until November 24th to mark 2011 Year of Craft.Knitters and crocheters of all generations throughout County Sligo are taking part in the project.

Swan gets schooling in the art of flying — Cygnet thinks football pitch is a lake

Liam Corcoran in the Galway City Tribune has a great yarn about a confused swan who is making a recovery after being shot by a crossbow.

The 18-month-old cygnet, who is just learning to fly, has taken to travelling from his home at the Claddagh to the pitches of St Mary’s College each morning.

“I thought at first that he might have been colour blind and mistaken the pitches for water,” said St Mary’s President Fr Barry Hogg. “He sits out on the pitches and for all the world it looks like he thinks he’s on a lake.”

Fr Hogg added that some of the school’s students had been feeding porridge to the swan, who is “very friendly and approachable.”

Mary Joyce-Glynn of the Galway Swan Rescue Centre explained that the swan originally came from Dublin, where it had undergone life-saving surgery after being found shot by a crossbow in a public park last year. Having recovered at the Galway charity’s centre at Lough Rusheen Park, the swan was released at the Claddagh at the end of July.

“He started to fly in the past two weeks and on the first day he ended up on the pitches at St Mary’s,” said Mary.

“When flying, a swan’s instinct is to get to open water, but this poor fellow just got lost on the way. After I returned him to the Claddagh the first day he just headed back to the same spot every day. He seemed to take a liking to the students and grounds,” she added.

Dogs and cats cause Kerry road accident

According to Kerry’s Eye, Gardai investigating a traffic accident in Kenmare believe five cats and a dog may have caused the collision. “There were five cats in the car owned by Mrs Deborah Callis, one of which escaped, and the other car had a dog,” Garda O’Shea told the local District Court. “It could be a case that both drivers were distracted.”

Westmeath Gardai fleet effectively off the road

A few weeks ago we told you of the Thomastown Traffic Gardai who had no cars. Well, the problem is spreading and this week it has hit the midlands. According to front pages in both the Westmeath Examiner and the Westmeath Topic, Gardai in Mullingar, a major Garda base, are relying on just one squad car — An old 2003 Focus, as all their stronger 2007 cars have reached the 300K mileage threshold. They are also using a public order van for front line patrols. Writing in the Examiner, John FitzSimons also reveals that Kinnegad has no cars at all!

The Westmeath Topic likens it to a “Keystone Cops” situation. Curiously, Garda cars have to be scrapped having reached 300K, but they do not have to undergo an NCT. “One fears criminals will be laughing all the way FROM the banks” writes Dick Hogan in the Topic.

WHO’D BE A GARDA?

1. 1. Man thought Garda was Kevin Doyle

A MAN arrested for a public order offence in Sligo told a Garda that he wanted his photograph taken with him as he looked like Wexford’s Republic of Ireland and Wolves footballer Kevin Doyle, Sligo Court heard.

Defending solicitor, Mr. Gerry McGovern, explained that Garda Kevin Donegan ‘got annoyed’ when the Donegal defendant wanted to put his arm around him and get the picture taken at Barroe Road on October 21. Scott admitted to being intoxicated in public and engaging in threatening, abusive or insulting behaviour.

Judge Kilrane adjourned the matter and said that if Scott produced €300 he would apply the Probation Act. The case appeared in the Sligo Champion and the Wexford People.

1. 2. Man head-butted Garda Car

Being very drunk and very emotional at the one-time proved an explosive cocktail for a Wexford resident who ended up head-butting a patrol car among other public order offences.

The man from Mulgannon was in the Court Reports in the Wexford People this week. Gardaí found the defendant stumbling outside on the street. After Gardaí put him sitting on a nearby bench, he became abusive eventually head-butted the patrol car before he was arrested.

Judge William Earley heard that the unemployed chef, who has no previous convictions, had a row with his girlfriend that day and ‘sought solace in drink’. However, it was a once-off and he was in ‘quite an emotional state’ following the argument. He was given the benefit of the probation act if he brings along €120, which will be donated to a charity nominated by the court.

1. Man dropped his pants ‘to show Gardai injured leg’

A Tullow man who dropped his trousers in front of a large number of people was fined € 250 when he appeared before Judge David Anderson at last week’s sitting of Carlow District Court.

The 27 year-old was charged with being intoxicated in a public place and disorderly conduct. Inspector Martin Walker said that the defendant had been refused entry to the Dinn Ri because he had too much drink on him. When gardai arrived Duffy was ‘ranting at’ them and then ‘unbuttoned his trousers and dropped them’.

Inspector Walker said there was a large group of people in the area including females. The man had to be restrained and ‘continued to make a nuisance of himself in custody’.

His solicitor Brendan O’Flaherty said his client had been refused entry because the staff claimed he was staggering on the approach to the nightclub. The defendant claimed his limp as a result of a road traffic accident and he dropped his trousers to show ‘it was a genuine injury’ and said it wasn’t a case of ‘exposure’.

‘It wasn’t an appropriate place to start demonstrating the injury’, said Mr. O’Flaherty.

Judge David Anderson fined him €250

Cork leads the way with biodegradable chewing gum

The bugbear of teachers, cleaners and parents alike could be consigned safely to history reports the Cork Independent.

A University College Cork researcher has created a fully biodegradable chewing gum that also doesn’t stick to your shoe

That wouldn’t count for much if it didn’t taste as good as regular chewing gum. However, UCC professor Elke Arendt and her team of 20 PhD students have been tasting the gum throughout development over the last four years, although she is not sick of it (yet).

Crucially the new gum takes flavours well, she said.

“We’ve tried peppermint, strawberry and all sorts of flavours and the gum doesn’t seem to influence the flavours at all.”

The gum is made using cereal proteins as the main ingredients, instead of the synthetic rubber that chewing gum is normally made from. These natural proteins are modified using technologies and ingredients that increase the elasticity of the cereal proteins.

Another benefit is that it can be swallowed safely. “You can swallow without fear, especially for young children,” she said.

The gum lasts for about 45 minutes in the mouth before the enzymes there start to break it down. The researchers would end up swallowing the gum to dispose of it. “In nutritional terms, it’s like eating bread!”

The technology has been patented by UCC, which is looking to sell the product to the highest bidders. There has been a great interest in the product. The research for the project was funded by the Department of Agriculture, Food and Forestry. Cork City Council could be grateful for the innovation,also, as the Council spends around €30,000 per year cleaning chewing gum off its streets.

Carlow commuters cracking up over lack of telephone

According to Clare Minnock in the Carlow Nationalist, commuters in Bagenalstown are “gone cracked” because the local train station is uncontactable by phone.

Muinebheag railway station is manned every day, yet if you ring the station, you are connected to an automated greeting before being cut off.

Passengers who are looking for rail information are being asked to “hold the line” before being cut off by the American voice.

“Every time I ring, I can’t get an answer. I don’t think it’s even got a phone connection. Jesus, we’re gone cracked here,” said one local man, who did not wish to be named. “I can’t get through any time I ring. I get nothing — I’m not getting any answer. I don’t know what’s going on at all,” added the frustrated commuter.

“We’re not all on the internet or able to use it; I just want to highlight it. What are the rest of us supposed to do if we can’t get through on the phone?” he asked.

A spokesperson for Iarnrod Eireann said that they were experiencing “a problem with the phoneline in Bagenalstown but we are looking into it and hope to have it fixed shortly”.

She added that anyone looking information can contact the Kilkenny station on 056 7722024 for more details.

Over-sized headstones to be allowed – for a small fee

Several months ago we told you of a headstone crisis in the west, where huge headstones began popping up in graveyards. Memorably, there was a replica of Del Boy’s three-wheeled van in Lisheen. Well, that controversy has spread south, and the erection of oversized and ostentatious gravestones or memorials in Limerick’s municipal cemeteries could be dealt with through a proposed new byelaw that would allow “outsized monumental headstones or larger sized graves” in designated areas — and subject to an annual maintenance fee.

The Limerick Leader reports that Cllr John Gilligan said that births, deaths and marriages were accorded huge significance by “some sections of society” but it was “totally inappropriate” for them to erect monuments of the likes seen “in the Valley of the Kings”.

“If they want to spend tens of thousands putting up huge monuments that is for them but the Council should not have to spend a fortune maintaining them,” he added.

Director of service Caroline Curley said there were “cultural differences where some people do want bigger graves” and there had “been issues with people abusing that”.

The current proposal was to designate areas within the cemeteries for outsized graves, for which relatives would be charged a maintenance fee

The following paragraph is an example of just why I love regional newspapers so much. It’s the opening lines of one of the main stories in this week’s Limerick Leader:

“In the region of 2,500 people turned up at a field in County Limerick at the weekend to watch a 13 tonne digger being excavated from the ground.”

Yes, that’s right. Over 2,500 people. Turning up to watch a digger being pulled from a bog.

According to the paper “the Annacotty Excavator Challenge which raised over €10,000 for charity saw an O&K RH4 excavator which had been stuck in the mud since 1995 raised out of the soft boggy ground and brought to a recycling centre. The excavator became submerged while draining the land in 1995.”

No need for cock fighting or bare knuckle bouts when you have this excitement taking place in a field. With thanks to the Limerick Leader

As part of the challenge which took place on land at the back of Walsh Plant Sales in Annacotty from 8am on Sunday, the public were asked to guess how long the endeavour would take — in the end it took just short of 12 hours to complete the task.

“There was no stopping once it started. It took 11 hours and 50 minutes. We were doing it under floodlights in the end,” explained Frank Ryan from Fedamore who was one of a group of local plant-hire contractors who organised the fundraising initiative.

Once freed, the digger was pulled 200 metres to solid ground before it could be lifted onto a low loader lorry to be taken for recycling. It had been hoped to use a crane to lift the excavator but weather conditions made it impossible. “We couldn’t get a crane to come in, the ground conditions were too bad,” Frank explained.

“It’s alike a reel of thread – there is only a certain amount of thread that will fill a reel. It’s a balancing act. The most important thing is it went off safely,” he added.

The endeavour was a full team effort in what were difficult ground conditions. A total of 25 people from Limerick, Tipperary and Clare were involved in the salvage effort which culminated in the digger being cut up into 12 pieces and taken to Hennessy Metal Recycling in Templemore which handed over €3,000 for the digger. Gerry Ryan, plant fitter from Doon was named the ‘man of the match’ for his leadership qualities.

Once the challenge was completed, the organisers received a call asking them for their assistance in completing a similar endeavour in County Clare. “The boys went off celebrating on Sunday evening and the next thing on Monday morning a man rang us to know if we succeeded and he asked if we would do another one in Bridgetown and we said we would if he gave a donation to charity – we hit on, it only took us an hour and he gave us €1,800,” said Frank.

Over €11,000 has been raised so far from the two events. A number of worthy charities are to benefit including the Haiti Fund, Niall Melon Township Trust, Milford Hospice, the Mid-West School for Hearing Impaired Children in Rosbrien and Newport Day Care Centre. Meanwhile, the Mid West Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus Association also did a collection on the day. The organisers would like to thank the landowner for his assistance on the day and if anyone is interested in organising a similar endeavour for charity they can contact Frank on 0872574239.

Guess who’s in the coffin

The local notes in the same newspaper also features a small piece of local news which is also a fine example of the madness one often finds tucked away in the local notes. Thanks to Kim Bielenberg for spotting this one: “A Halloween game, Guess who is in the coffin, attracted big crowds to the Red Deer pub in Pallasgreen,” the Limerick Leader reports. “Four men wearing wellingtons carried the coffin into the pub and laid it gently on the pool table.”

George Clooney is a Cat!

Over the past year the Kilkenny People has reported on how near the Cats came to getting Obama and the Queen to visit the county, but even though both had roots to Kilkenny, both stayed away. But they didn’t mind, as they have their sights firmly set on someone who will really make the county purr because the world’s most sought after heart throb is a true Cat. Adored by millions of women around the world, George Clooney is in fact from South Kilkenny.

The Kilkenny People reveals this week that a painstaking search of one of the most beautiful parts of the county has unearthed the derelict house where Mr Clooney’s great-great-grandfather was born and his baptismal cert.

Where George Clooney was born. Kind of. Wonder if it will look as authentic if he visits next April?

The Mayor of the city, Cllr David Fitzgerald has written to Mr Clooney’s agent in California, inviting the star to Kilkenny next April when he is in Ireland. And paradoxically his next film which will be released next January is called, The Descendants.

Other genealogists had tried to link Mr Clooney with various parts of the country since he announced he’d like to find his roots, but could not. However, the research work by Gabriel Murray, the Kilkenny film maker and author along with cardiologist and publican Dr Michael Conway led to the amazing discovery of the baptismal cert for Mr Clooney’s great-great-grandfather Nicholas from 1829 which is printed in the paper.

Reporter Sean Keane details that a Fás community employment scheme recently computerised all the birth records in Ireland. One revealed that Nicholas Clooney was baptised in Windgap on 23 July 1829 and was from Knockeen, Tullahought, 25 miles south of the city.

Gabriel travelled down to Tullahought and started searching. After two hours climbing the hills of Knockeen, he and Dr Conway located the ancestral home, amid a cluster of houses nestled at the foothills of Knockeen. When they knocked on the front door of one of the houses, they were greeted by Peter Purcell and his son, Paul.

Peter’s great-granduncle, Patrick Bourke, had been godfather at Nicholas Clooney’s christening. Nicholas’ father was David Clooney, and his mother was Mary McGrath. The McGrath family are all now deceased. Peter’s mother was a Bourke who had married into the Clooney family.

Peter Purcell recalled how his ancestors the Clooneys had uprooted overnight and left for Kentucky. Peter mentioned that his relative, Mary Egan’s mother, was also a Bourke. The McGraths and the Bourkes had married into the Clooney clan in the 18th century.

Nicholas Clooney had left for America and settled in Kentucky, circa 1847.

Mary Egan is organising a reception for Clooney in Tullahought when he comes next year and plans to invite all the Clooney’ cousins from throughout Ireland. The community hall in Tullahought and Power’s bar are the venues cited. Powers has recently re-opened after being closed for 20 years. It is over 200 years old. It is certain that all of George Clooney’s ancestors used to drink there so when George Clooney walks in the doors of Power’s Pub next April, it will be 154 years since his ancestor Nicholas exited the same door.

Students may face battle to keep it L.I.T.

SUCH is the rapid expansion at the Limerick Institute of Technology, which has branched into Tipperary, Clare and county Limerick that a change of name may be in the offing, president of the Institute, Dr Maria Hinfelaar, has hinted. Students are bracing themselves for a battle as the Students Union is said to be keen to Keep it L.I.T.

Last week over 1,800 students graduated from LIT with ceremonies not only in Limerick but also at LIT’s Thurles campus. On September 1 last, when LIT formally launched its fifth and newest school, LIT Tipperary, it increased the student population to over 7,000 full time and part time learners.

LIT now has three campuses in Limerick city, two in Tipperary and outreach centres in county Clare and county Limerick employing 550 people.

Band send noise nuisance abroad

Seminal Limerick band Granny’s Intentions, who reformed for three sold out gigs in the Belltable, came up with a unique solution to ensure that theirs will be the only music coming out of the troubled theatre last weekend.

The Limerick Leader reports the band have made a present of a trip to Paris to garage owner Mick Daly, located in the laneway behind the Belltable, whose ongoing row with the theatre has seen productions repeatedly disrupted since it was renovated over 12 months ago.

Mick Daly, aka Grinderman, swaps his tools for a geetar and a holiday in Paris. Peace reigns at Co Limerick Theatre

“We are sending Mike to Paris, we have to because he is in a ‘grinding mood’ at the moment,” explained Cha Haran of the band, who is a school friend of Mr Daly’s. “If we are to play and have three successful gigs we will have to have a bit of silence so our music will come out over Michael’s. That is part of the deal.”

Fellow Granny Jack Costelloe said: “All we are saying is to give peace a chance!”

Noise emanating from Daly’s laneway garage has repeatedly disrupted productions in the theatre since it was renovated last year, the sounds of angle grinders and revving engines having been heard during productions, as well as delaying proceedings when Arts Minister Jimmy Deenihan officially opened the building recently.

Mr Daly claimed he is simply “going about his work”.

“I am working here every day for 40 years. I work at eight or nine o’clock, I am doing that for the last 40 years,” he said.

The band have paid for Mr Daly to fly to Paris, covering all of his costs, flights and accommodation.

Man had giant ivy plant in sitting room

A Man who described himself as “an amateur gardener” managed to grow 100 feet of ivy inside his sitting room for the last ten years.

Tim Manning told The Corkman that he bought the indoor ivy plant a decade ago and only needed to water it once a week, and he only had to give it fertiliser once a year. He said the plant began to thrive, so much so that it began to grow up along the walls and across his ceiling.

But after 10 years of looking at the ivy, he has had enough of it and wants to give it away to anyone who wants it.

“Or I would like to give it to a charity, it was all getting a bit too much really. It was taking over the room totally,” said Mr Manning, who lives in Mallow.

Here, Ivy, fuck off. (With thanks to the Corkman)

When  asked by reporter Maria Herlihy if the ivy which was by now also going across his window sill and covering the walls ever got on his nerves. He said it did not. “It just got too big. I measured it and it’s 100 feet long. It was time for it to go really,” he said.

He said even he was “amazed” at how much the ivy thrived and he described it as a plant which was able to survive very well on its own. He said with a smile that he is now looking forward to claiming back his sitting room.

Holy Cow! Cow gives birth to quadruplets!

North Wexford farmer Nigel Bailey couldn’t believe what he was seeing when a cow at his farm last week delivered not just one, nor two, not even three, but an incredible four healthy calves.

Quadruplet calves are incredibly rare, and even more remarkably, but this productive bovine has produced a total of six calves in less than a year writes Fintan Lambe in the Wexford People.

‘She is a twin herself, and she had twins last year as a heifer,’ he said.  ‘This is her second calving. I knew she was in calf, and she wasn’t in as good condition as I’d expect, so I thought it might be twins.’

He checked the calving camera at 6.45 a.m. on the big day, and saw she had delivered the first calf. He went out to the shed, and the second calf came out, with just a little help from Nigel. ‘The third one came out backwards, so I helped with that,’ he said. ‘With the fourth one, I had to get that out myself.’

‘I couldn’t believe it when the feet appeared of the third one,’ he said. ‘I was going to check her anyway, and I checked to see there wasn’t a fifth. That would have been a bit greedy, but there was no point in leaving it in there if it was there!’

The calves are doing well. They were kept under an infrared light for a few days, and are feeding three times a day.

Nigel has only heard of four calves being born like this once before — and coincidentally, it happened to a friend of his in Limerick who had four Angus calves. ‘He was in agricultural college with me,’ he said. ‘You wouldn’t hear of it happening too often though. You’d mainly hear of twins.’

The four celebrity calves have proven a hit with the younger members of the Bailey family who are busy helping their dad with the new arrivals.

There may be a partridge in a Dublin pear tree after all this Christmas

THE first results of an ambitious nature conservation project has literally taken flight with the release of the first batch of native Grey Partridges from a Fingal farm reports the Fingal Independent.

Minister for the Department of Arts, Heritage and Gaeltacht, Jimmy Deenihan did the honours at the Oldtown farm, the first phase of a five-year project to reestablish a viable population of the birds in north county Dublin area. The Irish Grey Partridge Conservation Trust and Fingal County Council are managing the reintroduction project in Fingal. Up to recent years Ireland’s naturally occurring population of Grey Partridge was in serious danger of extinction, with only 22 birds nationally, in a single location at Boora Bog in Co Offaly.

Drunken attempt to join the gardai in squad car as another man rams one with horse and cart

The perils facing Gardai on our streets are illustrated with two court cases from the south this week. The Kerryman reports that a drunken young man who repeatedly tried to join Dingle gardai in their patrol car has been ordered to pay €500 to the court poor box for his comic antics.

Inspector Martin McCarthy said it was the first time he had ever come across behaviour like that of the Macroom defendant, who was charged with failure to comply with the direction of gardaí and with being drunk and a danger to himself and to others on April 17 last.

Gardaí came across Mr Hall at the Mall in Dingle at 3am on the night and he was drunk and was shouting.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen this offence, but he attempted to enter the patrol car on a number of occasions,” the Inspector explained to some mirth in the courthouse.

Solicitor Frank O’Connor said his client has emigrated to Australia but wanted to plead guilty. He said his client was extremely embarrassed about the incident and the court ‘won’t be seeing him again’.

Meanwhile, the Corkman reports on an outing to Cahirmee Fair which did not end up a good day for a man when he deliberately drove his horse and cart at speed at a patrol car in Buttevant.

The 28 year old (with 54 previous convictions and which also included a 20-year driving ban) was sent to prison for two months by Judge Olann Kelleher at a sitting of Mallow District Court.

Inspector Tony Sugrue told Mallow District Court that gardaí were on duty in Buttevant on July 12 for the annual Cahirmee Fair, and when a patrol car turned onto the Doneraile Road, they were faced with the defendant on a horse and cart. In front of a large crowd, he drove the horse and car at speed towards the patrol car.

The Limerick man pleaded guilty to engaging in threatening and abusive behaviour.

Insp Sugrue then told Judge Olann Kelleher, that Mr Casey “unleashed a torrent of foul mouthed abuse to gardaí” including telling them to “f*** off, ye c*****”. Mr Casey continued to abuse gardaí until he was arrested.

Outlining the man’s previous convictions Insp Sugrue said he had 54 convictions, which also included a 20-year driving ban, convictions for no insurance, public order offences, trespass and assault causing harm.

Solicitor Barry Murphy said his client apologised for his behaviour. He had “a lot of drink taken” but was pleading guilty to the charge at the first available opportunity.

Judge Olann Kelleher said he was off the road for 20 years yet was still driving a horse and cart at gardaí. He said that nobody could behave like that towards gardaí going about their duty.

He sentenced Mr Casey to two months in prison for engaging in threatening behaviour and fined him €200 for failing to turn up in court on a previous occasion.

Cow stuck in tree ‘milking’ Council funds an ‘udder disgrace’

This Melbourne view will soon be yours to enjoy outside the Cork Opera House

Several rows and local disputes featured on ‘Medium-Sized Town, Fairly Big Story’ before have been about the humble cow. And now, thanks to the Cork Independent, another huge bovine row has come to our attention, one that could eclispse them all – at least when it comes to the use of puns in a newspaper piece.

The Cork Independent reports that Cork City Council has ‘cheesed off’ a number of local Councillors with a fresh row about spending caused by a sculpture entitled Cow Up a Tree.

The sculpture will reside in Cork City for 15 weeks in a bid to draw visitors into the city for Christmas. The brainchild of Australian artist John Kelly, who now lives in Cork, the bronze sculpture depicts a cow stuck up a tree. The rationale behind the sculpture is a marriage between two histories; floods and Dobell’s cows. Dobell was an artist who made camouflage cows during World War II in an attempt to deceive enemy pilots.

The sculpture has been a huge success across the world, it was displayed on the Champs Elysées in Paris while another edition is permanently on display in the Melbourne Docklands.

The image rights for the sculpture were purchased in 2008 at a cost of €20,000, and it is planned to display Cow up a Tree at Emmet Place, outside Cork Opera House, for 15 weeks. The proposal has been met with widespread criticism in Cork, and some have called it more of a ‘Pig in a Poke’. Others have said it is an “uder disgrace” to have spent €20,000 on a “cash cow” and ‘Cheesed off” Councillors have now denied sanctioning the €20,000 in the first place.

The official line is: “Cork City Council purchased it three years ago and we have been waiting for the opportunity to put it on display. It will draw people into town from the Grand Parade, it will be a unique opportunity in this country. I make no apology for using it.”

However, Fianna Fáil Cllr Tim Brosnan stated that he did not have any “hand, act or part” in this. As a member of the Arts Committee Cllr Chris O’Leary said he had never heard of this. “Hearing this at the 11th hour is not good enough,” he said. Workers’ Party Cllr Ted Tynan asked whether there was value for money with the proposal. Fianna Fáil Cllr Kenneth O’Flynn couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. “We have a piece of art and now we are complaining about it. We are a city of arts and a former European Capital of Culture, this proves it,” he said.

Labour Party Cllr Michael Ahern added: “Kids will be fascinated by this, it will put the focus on Cork City.” They hope the project won’t go “teats up”

Wild West gun law in Glenamaddy

A Judge asked if a man thought Glenamaddy was the Wild West where a parking dispute could be settled by producing a gun, when he heard the case against a local man who did just that in the early hours of the morning.

District Court Judge Geoffrey Brown said it was crazy to think someone would produce a shotgun outside a takeaway over a simple parking dispute and expressed a hope that Gardai would take this incident into account when the defendant applies for a new gun licence.

The Tuam Herald reports that the incident occurred outside a Chinese take-away at 2am on October 30^th last. It says a dispute arose between drivers over a minor traffic accident.

The defendant, a Glenamaddy local, was accused of flashing his light and blowing his horn at a man eating his take-away in his car. When the man didn’t respond to this, the defendant raised a shotgun, “which the other party found frightening and intimidating”.

The Judge then asked: “Is this normal procedure in Glenamaddy? If you don’t like the take-out you pull a gun?”

Solicitor Danny McGrath said there was a small verbal altercation, to which the Judge replied “So he produces a gun?” The judge then asked what was anyone doing with a gun at 2am.

The solicitor said his client had been out shooting that day, and the gun was left in the back of the van for “safety”. Gardai disputed that the verbal altercation was small. Inspector Michael O’Dwyer said the defendant told the man to “Get the F*** out of my way or I’ll show you what I’ll do with you!”

The defence said that the man was under a lot of pressure, and had suffered a number of family bereavements. He “flipped out” on the night.

But Judge Brown imposed a €500 fine saying he had no sympathy for anyone who drives around at night flashing a shotgun at people trying to eat their supper.

Driving around Mondello – blind!

The Bray Guardian reports that a Bray local Mark Talbot has driven around Mondello Park racing track despite being blind! Mark’s jaunt around the Mondello course is part of ‘Yes I Can’, a four-part documentary featuring four inspirational people overcoming their disabilities and attempting an extreme sport — from car racing to waterskiing.

Speaking to his local paper, Mark said he wants to encourage other people not to let any disability stop them from living life to the full.

The show, which starts on Setanta this week, is hosted by adventurer Mark Pollock, who is blind and last year lost the use of his legs, confining him to a wheelchair.

Under his guidance, the participants talk us through their own personal journeys, culminating in taking on this new challenge.

Mark lost his sight to meningitis in 2008. A former motorbike racer and photographer he says he wants to recapture the buzz he once thrived on. He did so in a Mazda race car.

He lives with his wife, young son and Guide Dog Grogan, and his philosophy on life is ‘every day is a new day, and every step is a new step.’

The series will begin next Monday November 7 at 9 p.m. Mark will be featured on episode four on Monday November 28 at 9 p.m.

Cavan councillors want human roadsweepers back

A row in Cavan County Council chambers paints a devastating picture of the battle between a man with a sweeping brush and modern technology.

Man vs Machine in Cavan, with thanks to the Anglo Celt

County Councillor Paddy Brady wants men with brushes re-introduced onto the streets of Belturbet because the machines are fighting a losing battle against litter. He said ordinary members of the public are picking up litter in areas the large machines can’t reach.

He wants Cavan Town to lend the town some men with brushes.

“We don’t have the resources ourselves. Take Cavan Town, it’s flooded with people out sweeping the streets, yet we are neglected here in Belturbet and there is no reason why we should be neglected! There used to be an excellent man on the town, and when he retured he shouldhave been replaced with another man, not a machine”

Cavan County Council have promised to look into the matter.

A new Sheriff in town – Judge targets foolish motorists

If you a motorist in the midlands who likes doing things on the edge, then you’d betwer watch out for Judge David Anderson at Carlow Court.

The judge is all over the Carlow papers this week.

STRIKE 1!

In one case a Bagenalstown man who pulled a handbrake turn while stuck in traffic was put off the road for three months.

The accused man was in a line of traffic at a diversion when he did a handbrake turn and drove off. Gardai said one vehicle had to ‘stop quite quickly to stop colliding’ with the defendant,

Defending solicitor Brendan O’Flaherty said ‘the handbrake cable may have snapped and had an effect’.

Inspector Walker said the defendant was ‘quite irate’ when stopped and said the gardai ‘were picking’ on him. He told Garda Kieran Shields he was ‘tired of waiting in traffic’.

Judge Anderson suggested ‘a little time to retrain’ would help the defendant and he fined him € 250 and put him off the road for three months.

STRIKE 2! On the same day, a man who failed to produce his road tax, and who said he could not afford the fine was told by the Judge to sell his car. ‘You have the vehicle, sell it and pay the fine’ Judge David Anderson told the Fenagh man at last week’s sitting of Carlow District Court.

The man had pleaded guilty to the charge, telling the Judge he had mislaid the summons and ‘things started going wrong at home and I forgot about it’.

Judge Anderson imposed a €500 fine. Cullen said he was unemployed to which the Judge replied: ‘You have the vehicle, sell it and pay the fine’

STRIKE 3! A taxi driver who was driving a rusty vehicle littered with alcohol bottles was hit with some Neil Young lyrics when he stood before the same judge. Quoting from Neil Young’s “Rust Never Sleeps” the judge said he was not impressed with the man, who blamed passengers for the rust on his car.

Gardai stopped the man to find there was rust on the outside, there was no tachograph, the outside of the vehicle was in poor condition and rusted, there were empty beer bottles and a vodka bottle inside the vehicle and the upholstery on three of the seats was torn.

Mr. O’Sullivan said some students the taxi man had been carrying had ‘made a bit of a mess’.

’ They didn’t cause the rust’, said Judge Anderson. Mr. O’Sullivan then proceeded to quote Neil Young saying ‘rust never sleeps’.

Rampant Deer poaching in Kerry

According to the Corkman newspaper, the problem of wild deer poaching has escalated because of the recession and is now rampant along the Cork/Kerry border.

The Wild Deer Association of Ireland say that game dealers and handling houses are paying cash for deer carcases with no questions asked, leaving wild deer vulnerable to being poached by unlicensed hunters acting illegally.

Headless deer carcasses have been found in parts of Kerry recently, and the WDAI say they have had reports from members of the public and licensed hunters that the practice is also happening in parts of Cork such as Millstreet, Inchigeela and Ballingeary.

“It is rampant along the Cork Kerry border,” Damien Hannigan of the WDAI said this week.

“Red deer are a wild deer that have existed in Kerry since the Ice Age, they are being poached but they are protected under law. You need a licence from the Department of Environment to hunt and a form from the Gardai,” he said.

The deer can only be hunted legally from dawn to dusk but Mr Hannigan said poachers use powerful lamps to dazzle deer, making them an easy target.

He said the poachers often shoot from roadways, contrary to laws prohibiting shooting within 60 feet of a public road, and this is happening along the Cork Kerry border from Bantry up to Inchigeela, Ballingeary and Millstreet forest areas.

The WPAI has launched two campaigns against poaching and is calling on the public to report incidents of illegal hunting.

Over the past year the WPAI received over 1,000 reports of deer poaching, from both members of the public and licenced hunters, Mr Hannigan said.

“In the current economic climate it has rocketed. People shoot the deer then sell it for €70 to game dealers and handling establishments. They often pay in cash so if you are on social welfare it is an easy way to make money.”

Two women fighting over one man

“Isn’t it everyman’s dream to have two women fighting over him,” Judge Patrick Clyne remarked during the hearing of a case at Wexford District Court.

The Wexford People reports that a 27 year old man was charged with engaging in threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour outside the courthouse in Ardcavan on May 9 last. Inspector Pat McDonald said two females were involved in an altercation. The defendant, on his way to court for something else, got involved and started shouting threats to one of the women.

‘Isn’t your client lucky,’ Judge Clyne told the defendant’s solicitor. ”Isn’t it every man’s dream to have two women fighting over him?.’

The defendant admitted the offence and also pleaded guilty to two counts of burglary. He was jailed for two months. It’s not known which woman will be waiting for him outside the prison gates in December.

Couple plan a lefty revolution

An interesting piece concerning citogs has made ripples nationwide after appearing in the Drogheda Independent. A local couple is plotting a ’ lefty’ revolution in the retail business with the setting up of a service for left-handed people.

‘The business is unique in Ireland,’ stated James Gogarty, who is partnered in the venture by wife, Gillian.

They have been operating for few a few months but have already received orders for everything from potato scoopers for lefties to oven mits.

‘It’s amazing when you start hearing the stories about what is so different for left-handed people,’ added James. ‘Gillian is left-handed so she’s a great judge for us.’

The idea sprung up one day thanks to one of the couple’s two children. ‘My son was using both his left and right hand for something and I just thought there was a need for left-handers, in terms of sourcing sissors or pens and pencils, educational things really for children.’

Since then the interest has grown after the couple established their own website — www.ontheotherhand.ie.

‘People can order things through the website but ideally we’d love to set up a shop in Drogheda,’ the Cedarfield resident continued. After Christmas, they hope to add the likes of archery, cricket and fishing gear to their array of offers.

‘My wife says that this time of year can be tough for the likes of wrapping presents as a lot of the preparation items are designed for right-handed people. We want to put that right,’ James stated.

Holy smoke! Or not as the case may be..

Holy Smoke…or not, as is soon to be the case at Sligo’s Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception where new smoke-free and sootless candles will be burning brightly before Christmas.

The Sligo Champion reports that over 100,000 candles are used each year in the Cathedral and the latest initiative will mean an end to the dumping of the plastic cups used to house existing candles and environmentally friendly wax will mean less cleaning of andelabras.

The candles are supplied by the St. Killian’s Candle Company, Tipperary, and are made by Duffy and Scott candlemakers of Tullamore.

Four new andelabras to replace those at the St. Anthony, Sacred Heart, Our Lady of Lourdes and main shrine inside the front door will be supplied by Keltech Engineering of Waterford.

The bucket-like candles are already in use at St. Anne’s Parish Church and are also used in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, New York, Pisa Cathedral, Italy and Galway Cathedral.

“The new candles will mean no more wax on floors or carpets, no cleaning of the andelabras and no dumping of plastic. All waste is recycled and this will be a much cleaner system. We hope to have the candles in place by December,” explained Canon Tom Hever, Administrator of St. Mary’s.

According to the Sligo Champions the new candles will cost 40c each.

Sligo Rovers want Westlife to say goodbye

The fallout from the Westlife split dominates the papers in Sligo this week.  Louis Heraghty will be delihted to know that Sligo Rovers are offering their ground up as the venue for a farewell concert. Rovers have offered The Showgrounds as ’ the perfect venue’.

The capacity of the greatly upgraded soccer stadium for such a concert would be about 12,000, meaning it could accommodate more than the sell-out attendance at Westlife’s last local concert at Lisadell last year.

Mayor Rosaleen O’Grady, who instigated the campaign for a farewell concert in the band’s home town, believes it would be the ‘perfect send-off ‘.

And elsewhere in the city, there are calls for a museum or even a shrine to the boyband. They formed in Sligo as IOU. Kian Egan gives the Sligo Champion an exclusive interview saying the boys will remain together forever, ironically the name of their first single.

He pays a nice tribute to where it all began: “There wasn’t just one highlight. It was an amazing journey all the way — from seeing our faces drawn over the top of the local Record Room shop to meeting the Pope, singing for Queen Elizabeth and President Obama, playing in some of the world’s greatest venues, inlcuding Croke Park, and performing in our own home town — it was all incredible. Of course, we will miss all that, but this is the start of the next chapter in all our lives, and hopefully good things lie ahead for all of us,” he said.

The man behind the only ever IOU single, a forerunner to the Westlife catalogue of hits, which has now become a collectors’ item in its own right, believes Sligo should have a permanent ‘shrine’ to Westlife.

Already inundated by Westlife fans from all over Europe and Asia at his shop, The Record Room, which houses the biggest local collection of the group’s paraphenalia, Kevin Flannery believes a Westlife museum would be a major attraction in the town.

The story of the phenomenal success of the group, from Mark Feehily, Shane Filan and Kian Egan’s early days with local group I.O.U. right up to their chart-topping, worldwide fame is captured among photographs, signed discs and special momentos in the Grattan Street store. Kevin was behind the label, Sound Records, who released I.O.U.‘S only single, ’ Together Forever’.

The launch of Westlife’s first single, Swear It Again on 26th March 1999 was held in The Record Room and the rest, as they say, is history.

Remarkably, Jim Gray reports that Kevin has in his possession the piece of paper on whch the words of ’ Together Forever’ were written — the paper was rescued in time from the bin, he laughs. “Someone had left it in the bin, but luckily we got it in time, it’s now framed.”

Titanic note goes on display

A handwritten note from a victim of the fatal first trip of the Titanic has gone on display at Cobh Heritage Centre this week. The poignant note was written by 19 year old Jeremiah Burke from Ballinoe, White’s Cross and was hurled from the deck of the Titanic in a bottle.

The bottle had contained holy water given to him by his mother before he left, according to his niece Cllr Mary Woods, who officially entrusted the note to Cobh Heritage Centre on Tuesday.

The note simply read: “From Titanic, Goodbye All, Burke of Glanmire Cork”. Incredibly, the bottle washed up a year later on the shoreline near his family home on the shoreline at Dunkettle, close to Whites Cross.

Tragically his mother, Catherine, never saw the note as, Cllr Woods says: “She died of a broken heart after she heard that Jeremiah died on the Titanic”.

The note was carefully conserved and now forms part of the Titanic exhibition in the Centre along with the photographic and military medals of Titanic photographer Fr Frank Browne.
It will be possible to view it at Cobh Heritage Centre, which opens from 9.30am  to 6pm every day. See www.cobhheritage.com or ring 021–4813591.

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For more on BREAKFAST WITH HECTOR visit www.khl.ie and http://2fm.rte.ie/hector/ and be sure to tune into RTE 2FM Monday to Friday from 7am — 9am. Oh, and congrats Amy!

Over 30 weekly paid for titles are participating in this event which has been co-ordinated by the Regional Newspapers and Printers Association of Ireland (RNPAI). All of the participating newspapers carry a special tailor-made supplement this week championing the local paper in its respective area so be sure to pick them up. The supplement includes testimonials from readers, business people, sporting organisations and key decision makers as well as some history. Member titles are also undertaking advertiser presentations, school tours and other community activity this week, and my old colleague Ciaran Mullooly (himself a former local newspaper man) is recording a piece for RTE’s Nationwide.  

It’s a noble undertaking by the RNPAI, and hopefully it will drive home to communities the need to support your local newspaper. Circulation and sales of local papers are falling dramatically. I know one very prestigious title which rode high on sales of approx 15,000 a week only a few short years ago which is currently lucky to sell 5,000 a week, so papers are facing tough times. In the boom we turned our back on them, for some they were old hat and for others they were — God forbid — about local communities they were too liberal to join, or indeed would soon leave for the dream home in a corner of Daddy’s old farm.  I am probably alone in the following theory, but I do think that an erosion in local community is down to people not buying their local newspaper. People don’t talk to their own neighbours anymore for God sake. People aren’t as involved in their local community. For example, how often do those living in estates pass broken trees or piles of litter without doing anything? Do many people whose family are not rooted in area really care about the local GAA side, or go to a County Final. Little things make a community, and one such little thing is a local newspaper.

I have written for several over the years and many far better writers than I currently plying their trade with the nationals started at a local paper. My wife works for a newspaper group, and I still contribute articles and pieces to many papers. When you work for one you know how important they are. Even with wholesale takeovers by media organisations and newspaper groups the local newspaper never really lost its voice. But as piles of unsold local newspapers in newsagents confirm, it is beginning to lose its voice.

So hopefully the famous brands that are trusted and respected by thousands of people, not just in this country but all over the world thanks to the Diaspora, will make see a spike in sales thanks to Local Newspaper Week.

Local newspapers are connectors, connecting people, communities, businesses, sporting groups, charities and much more besides.  They play a vital role by publicising good causes and events, exposing local authorities, keeping tabs on crime, bringing local sport to life and making the reader feel part of the place they live.

And as my weekly ‘Medium-Sized Town, Fairly Big Story’ local newspaper reviewslot on RTE 2Fm proves, they also provide their regular readers with some  belly laughs thanks to some fairly wacky stories, more often than not written very seriously indeed. News doesn’t always have to be serious, and the slot on ‘Breakfast With Hector’ every Tuesday morning proves this.

But on a serious note, your local newspaper needs you, so go out and become re-acquainted. For more info, but your local newspaper this week (and every week) or log onto http://www.localnewspaperweek.ie/

The story concerned a court case from the Fermanagh Herald. Nothing unusual (or major) there you might say. Local newspapers thrive on the Court beat, and court reports are often identified in reader surveys as one of the most popular items in a local newspaper. Every now and again, a local newspaper will throw up a court case so bizarre that a local newspaper is too small a place for it. And the story of the Northern Ireland man who tried to turn his poo into gold was one such story. In the space of a few days the story went regional, then provincial, then national, then international, then global with news agencies and newspapers all over the world picking it up. It’s probably every journalists dream to be on the court beat when a case like this arises, and it’s easily every pontificating judges dream to see his name make waves internationally. Weary Irish court hacks (I was one for a number of years) have had little to bring to the world since the great District Court Judge John F. Neilan retired, but you can rest assured that Enniskillen courthouse will be full of eager hacks after the poo-to-gold case!

With thanks to the original newspapers and writers, here is that case and the other stories which made it to #mstfbs this week.

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Man who tried to turn his faeces into gold is jailed

Proof that local newspapers often set the world agenda is a tale from the Fermanagh Herald which has made international headlines all over the world. It concerns the jailing of a Northern Ireland man who tried to turn his own faeces into gold by putting it on an electric heater.

The bizarre experiment, carried out by Paul Moran, 30, caused around £3,000 worth of damage to his Housing Executive home in a block of flats at Derrin Park in Enniskillen in July. It has also earned him a three month jail sentence.

Upon his release he will spend a further 12 months on licence. Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others.

Judge McFarland told him: “Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products. It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”

While outlining the circumstances of the case at Enniskillen Magistrates Court, prosecuting counsel Robin Steer, told those present that at 7.12pm on July 24 last year the Fire Brigade was called to Moran’s flat at Derrin Park in Cornagrade, Enniskillen.

A police officer who was at the scene overheard Moran tell someone he had put “fertiliser” on a heater.

Moran’s barrister, Des Fahy, agreed that the general circumstances of the case were bizarre. He said Moran was a man of considerable intellectual ability but there was a clear problem over the years relating to drug abuse.

The judge noted that Moran was now on anti-psychotic medication and agreed with the findings of a pre-sentence report, which said he did not pose “a significant risk of serious harm.

Council paints yellow lines around parked car

An extraordinary tale of an efficient local authority is the star of the show in the Carlow Nationalist this week. Under the headline ‘Council paints yellow lines around parked car’ journalist Sarah Rowe writes that a motorist saw yellow – double yellow – when she returned to her parked car last Thursday to find that the council had actually painted double yellow lines on either side of her car!

And to add to her woes, the young woman had been issued with a parking ticket.

The Carlow Vocational School student, who does not wish to be named, was left stunned by the discovery at Green Road, Carlow. The student had been regularly parking in the same spot for the past three weeks.

“She was 100% adamant that the lines weren’t there that morning,” her mother told the paper. “The lines were freshly painted all the way up to her car’s tyres, and to the car behind hers too. Both of the cars had parking tickets on them. They can’t do that!” she added.

Car no 2 and crafty painting makes the front page of the Carlow Nationalist

“There were no signs up to say that painting was going to take place and no traffic cones – nothing – yet she got a ticket,” the angry mother explained. “They should have put signs up and certainly not have given out tickets.”

Carlow town engineer Brian O’Donovan confirmed to The Nationalist that there had been works in the area without notice.

“We have to work weather dependently, that’s why there was no notice given. We choose a different area when the weather is good, like it was, and get what we need to get done,” explained Mr O’Donovan.

“We did the work there because residents had requested that it be done.” However Mr O’Donovan accepted that this motorist may have a case for appeal.

“If that was the case, it’s completely unfair. The person can write into us and appeal the parking ticket.”

Kerry people cannot navigate roundabouts

ROUNDABOUTS present too much of a challenge for many Kerry drivers, according to a county councillor in the Kerryman who wants better road markings to help people avoid going around in circles.

Fine Gael County Councillor Bobby O’Connell called on the council to “put proper markings on roundabouts to advise drivers which lane they should be in”.

Apparently many motorists are getting confused when trying to navigate their way around roundabouts, particularly in regard to getting in lane.

“They’re confusing for drivers of all ages. It’s very easy to say ‘get in lane’, but its the straight one that is causing a lot of confusion,” Cllr O’Connell said.

He suggested that the root of the problem was that roundabouts didn’t even exist when many Kerry motorists got their licences decades ago.

Suggesting that the drivers’ problems might be shared by council management he added: “People say we should know the rules of the road, but I’m sure that if I went to the top table here it would be very embarassing!”

Imagine! John Lennon’s mic turns up in rural Longford

The microphone John Lennon used when he recorded Imagine has turned up in rural Longford! According to the Westmeath Examiner, the Live Transmission Studios in the village of Drumlish is the new home of the famous mic, which was bought by Mullingar band The Aftermath.

Johnny and Mick Cronin from The Aftermath with the fabled John Lennon microphone

The microphone, which has not be switched on since 1971, fetched over €7,000 at an auction and the band plan to use it on their new album.

Reporter Olga Aughey writes that Lennon had installed the microphone in his Georgian manor estate Tittenhurst Park near Ascot in 1970, and the location went on to become the recording venue for the Plastic Ono Band and Imagine albums.

It is believed Yoko Ono, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr, who sold the mic, also used it during recording sessions. Mick Cronin said he and his brother Johnny, who have been fans of The Beatles for as long as he can remember, could not believe their luck when their bid was accepted for what is a stunning piece of Beatles music history.

“It’s like the Holy Grail to us, we can’t believe we actually have it,” said Mick. “We had it sent away to Germany to have it checked out and make sure it still works because it hasn’t been switched on since 1971. We didn’t want to damage it, we’re looking forward to the day we can sing into it,” he continued.

“It’s cool that we have a little piece of history. I mean Phil Spector would have had his hands on it — I know he was a nutter and everything but he did record an awful lot of great songs,” Mick laughs.

“We certainly didn’t expect that we’d actually get to purchase it. We were sure Liam Gallagher or someone would have come in with a huge bid, I mean where was he that day?!” he jokes.

Reward offered for missing head

A shocking theft in The Kerryman this week.

Reporter Kevin Hughes writes: “It has been a permanent fixture putting a smile on passers by in the Lissivigeen area for over a decade, but last week poor ‘Timber Man’ quite literally lost his head.

Pride and joy of local residents Pat and Deborah O’Keeffe, the quirky wooden figure by the side of the Cork Road has been dressed up in all sorts of guises down through the years, from Santa Claus to Frankenstein and more. Killjoys, though, seem to have taken exception and last week they unceremoniously decapitated Timber Man to the dismay of the local homeowners who have offered a reward for its return.

“We’re pretty annoyed to be honest,” Deborah told The Kerryman. “It’s not the first time this has been attempted and we’ve caught people in recent months trying this under darkness. We knew it was only a matter of time before they got away with it and they struck when we were out at a 50th birthday party.

“We are offering a reward of a tiny timber man to anyone who can give us information leading to the recovery of the head.”

Made out of ESB poles, discarded after the electricity board updated the grid, the figure has become a landmark in the area and was the pride and joy of carpenter Pat who also made a similar figure in the Maherees area. Deborah regularly dresses him up for various occasions and people would stop to have their picture taken with him.

Doused in creosote to preserve the wood, Deborah believes the lost head may have been taken by car by pranksters but it may not have travelled too far as the fumes would have been pretty strong.

“We are sure that whoever took it probably dumped it on the side of the road. We are hoping that someone will find it and return it to us. This Halloween we may have to dress him as the headless horseman,” she adds with a smile.

For further information contact Deborah on (087) 3212948.

High Nellies take over the world… Well, Laois

What can only be described as the Tour de Durrow took place last weekend as hundreds of High Nelly bikes took part in a world record bid.

The Laois Nationalist reports that 348 High Nellies congregated at the old bridge in Durrow in a world record attempt last Sunday.

“They came from all over. They came from Connemara, Westport, Kells and Dublin. We also had with us the Abbeyleix High Nelly Club along with the Clogh club,” said organiser and Durrow High Nelly Club member Bobby Campion.

The most senior member of the Durrow High Nelly Club, Paddy Ryan, kicked off proceedings for what was, fingers crossed, expected to be a successful world record bid.

“We have video evidence, aerial photographs and our adjudicators at it. There is no guarantee that we will get the record but this is a new record to gather High Nellies in one place. We have submitted our evidence. We have done our bit. It was a spectacle. The bikes stretched from here (Durrow) to Abbeyleix. It was like the Tour de France, the Tour de Durrow,” said Bobby. Cyclists and onlookers alike then partied the evening away in Bob’s Bar where there was a 12 hour bluegrass session.